How to Be a Romantic Goth

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Too often, Goths are mistaken for morbid, creepy and harshly dark. Admittedly, some styles of Goth, such as Deathrockers and Vampire Goths can be classed as aestheticly outward and dark. But there is a "softer" side to Goth - and that is the Romantic Goth. Romantic Goths bring out the emotional, sensual side in the Goth culture. They don’t always dress in black or wear heavy makeup, as society seems to think of all Goths. They are creative and intelligent, as well as serene and yes, romantic. If you’re ready to learn how to embrace the soft and dreamy side of Goth culture, simply read on.

Steps

Be quiet. This doesn’t mean that you should never talk. However, being loud and boisterous is not going to pass you off as emotional and romantic. Romantic Goths are often soft spoken and thoughtful. Think before you speak. Is that comment really necessary? Has that question already been answered? Will that statement actually lead to a proper conversation? Train your mind to ask these questions before you open your mouth and you’ll be surprised at how much quieter you’ll become.
Listen. This links in with being quiet. Make a conscious effort to listen to what’s being said to you. People say things for a reason and you owe them the respect to listen. When someone is speaking to you, make eye contact. Nod your head and take in what they’re saying. Try to read their emotions and opinions.
Find the music. The music taste of Romantic Goths veers a little off the other styles, although all Goths listen to the classic Gothic Rock style (like Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy, the Cure and Siouxsie and the Banshees). Romantic Goths tend to listen to softer, deeper music. Look for things with meaningful lyrics and instruments. One very popular genre with Romantic Goths is classical music. You can also go for offbeat art rock, like Kate Bush. However, you don’t have to go by the rules. Anything deep and emotional or anything that is soft and dreamy is just as good.
Determine your clothing style. There are alternate looks you can choose from while being a Romantic Goth. Remember to wear the right colours. Perfect colours include; black, deep red, purple, occasionally green, all worn with black and other strong, dark colours. If you’re a boy, you can simply try to dress with this colour code. Dark, long sleeved shirts with collars are perfect, as well as long and dark, high collared coats. Girls have wider options. Skirts and dresses are good. Skirts can be floor length and flowing, in the same colours. If you want something shorter, try wearing fishnets under them. They usually are only worn by more hardcore Goths, but if you are careful, you can pull off the romantic look. Dresses can be floor length and fancy, in either dark or soft colours. They can also be knee length. Old Victorian clothes and lots of lace also work well.
Perfect the makeup. Makeup for Romantic Goths isn’t very challenging. Romantic Goths don’t tend to wear much heavy makeup. If you’re a boy, dark eyeliner is fine or no makeup at all. For girls, try softening your skin with a natural coloured blush or powder. Black eyeliner is a good option. If you want, you can draw patterns around your eyes-stars or swirls, or other designs. Try to keep them soft and veer away from harsher prints. If you decide to wear lipstick, red is always perfect. Experiment and find the right shades for you. Eye shadow is optional. If you want to wear it, try natural colours like pinks and bronzes or strong colours like purple or even soft red. If you want to make your face a little pale, dust it lightly with white foundation for a finishing touch.
Fix your hair. Dark coloured hair usually works well for this style. If you’re a girl, the easiest option would be long, straight, black or dark coloured hair. You can also try dark shoulder length hair. Blunt fringes and bangs work well. Guys can simply have dark coloured hair and if desired, you can grow it a little longer so that it falls over the eyes. Your hair can be either dead straight or loosely wavy. If you have black hair, you can team it up with brighter coloured streaks such as red, blue or purple. Make sure your hair always looks glossy and sleek.
Accessorize. Accessories will complete the look and add a more sensual touch to any outfit. Essential accessories include:
- Long, black or white gloves - these can be worn with long skirts or dresses.
- Chokers - lacy or bejewelled chokers add a nice touch to any outfit.
- Long necklaces - long gold necklaces go well with softer coloured dresses or shirts. Long silver chains with charms on them can accessorize a casual outfit.
- Bracelets - charm bracelets or silver/soft coloured bangles go well with casual or fancy outfits.
- Rings - fancy old, big rings add a great touch to boys and girls on any outfit. Just don't go overboard.
Read. One thing Romantic Goths are famous for is their love of reading. They are great lovers of romance, romantic tragedies and classic favourites. If you’re willing, dive right in and experiment with reading classics. If you don’t think you can handle them, try reading romance, tragedy or even just dramas. Again, Romantic Goth literature is softer and dreamier than the other styles of Goth literature. If you’re looking for something a little heavier, try supernatural themes, or stories including characters such as Vampires and Werewolves. Some suggested titles and authors include:
- Shakespeare - Although this will probably seem strange, Shakespeare is incredibly popular among Romantic Goths. His tragic dramas and romances fit well with this style of Goth.
- Charlotte Brontë -Jane Eyre. Jane Eyre, while not being particularly gothic, is romantic, tragic and dramatic and therefore fulfills all of the qualities of a good Romantic Goth novel.
- Edgar Allan Poe - A 19th century poet, short story writer and literary critic, best known for his macabre tales, contributing greatly to the science fiction and horror genres
- Emily Brontë -Wuthering Heights. Wuthering Heights is sorrowful, tragic and romantic as well.
- Anne Rice - Anne Rice is famous for her religious or gothic based novels.
- You can also try reading poems if you find them easier. Poetry is widely popular among Romantic Goths.
Be romantic. Although this step seems obvious, it takes a lot of work. If you’re obnoxious, loud and clumsy, you are going to find it hard to pass off as a Romantic Goth. Try to appreciate the beauty in life and everything around you. Think outside the box and spread your love to the people who surround you. Surprise your partner with a candlelit bath or dinner, with soft dark music or take a moonlight stroll. It isn’t hard to find the romance in everyday life. It’s already there - you just have to open your eyes.
Find the beauty in the darkness. One of the major talents that Romantic Goths possess is that they are able to find the magic and the beauty in gothic styles and darkness. Goths are often mistaken for creepy and at times you may find yourself thinking the same thing. But there are many hidden beauties in the gothic culture. Listen to the lyrics and feel the words in dark songs and writings - feel the emotion. Open your mind.

Tips

You are either Goth or you're not. You have to have it in you. You cannot and should not force yourself to be someone and something you don't want to be. This article is merely meant to help people ease themselves into the Romantic Goth scene. If you try to force yourself into this, you'll end up labelled a poser.
Don't copy a celebrity, eg Amy Lee, you will look like a fool and a poser.
Experiment with makeup. Play around and see what you come up with. The perfect look takes time, practise and lots and lots of mistakes.
If you're dusting your face white, try to do it lightly. This creates a pale, eerie look, rather than a clown's grease paint.
Knee length, tight, dark boots are a good addition to a fancy outfit.
If people bully you, don't let it impact you. You are who you are and you shouldn't let anyone else change that.

Warnings

Buying all of this clothing can be expensive, so look around at thrift stores first. See if you can customize any of your own clothes by dying or sewing things onto them.
Parents will often not be thrilled at these changes. Try to do this all subtly, so that it doesn't seem too drastic.
Wherever you go, there will always be nasty people. Learn to avoid and ignore them.
Lots of bands such as Evanescence, Seether, Linkin Park, and much much more are catagorized as 'Goth' by the mainstream even though they are not. You can listen to this music if it makes you happy- but you should know it`s not goth. Just as long as that`s not ALL you listen to- you`re good.
Never sleep with makeup on. Clean off any makeup with a proper makeup remover. Sleeping with makeup clogs your pores and lead to several skin issues.

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